Humor Winning Writing > How to House-Train a Puppy

How to Help House-Train a Puppy from a Wheelchair or Lift-Chair

By Leona Pence

Right in the dead of winter with snow everywhere, I succumbed to the begging of my twenty-two year old granddaughter for a puppy. She lives with me, and she and her partner promised to take care of the puppy; they would pay for its food, veterinary expenses, and keep it from messing up my carpet.

She filled out adoption papers, and when the puppy was eight weeks old, they drove for three hours to pick him up from a special shelter. He was so cute, even if he did pee on the carpet the minute she put him down. She ran for the paper towels and the spray stuff that was to kill the smell and stop it from staining. The spray worked well because he never peed in the same spot twice.

I didn’t realize that a puppy peed every ten minutes. She bought a leash, and took him out so often the house felt like a barn from the constant draft. He did his duty outside and once back inside, promptly did it again.

I alternate between using a wheelchair and a lift-chair. It was my job to yell at them if I saw him pee or even look like he was going to. One of them would take him outside while the other cleaned the spot on the carpet. The dirty looks I gave them every time he went on the carpet inspired them to quick action. I felt sorry for Max having to go in the snow, but he seemed to think peeing on a newspaper was beneath his dignity.

I am happy to say that diligence paid off, and in exactly two weeks, Max the Pee Bomb was house-trained. I looked out the back door at the melting snow; it was covered with yellow circles, like flowers growing beneath the surface.

I’ve become quite attached to Max. I don’t even mind the struggle to let him outside when I’m alone with him.

Did I mention he chews up anything he can get his teeth on? But… that’s another ‘How To’ story. •

© 2010 Leona Pence. All rights reserved

About the Author
Leona Pence is a widowed mother of 4, grandmother to 11. She hasn't been writing long, but gives credit to the F2K, a free online writing course for her motivation.

3/7/10